Attack Dog
by SarahRad
Summary: Jim and Seb get a dog.


Jim sat in his chair, staring at the medium black dog at his feet. It was just sitting there, staring at him expectantly and panting.

"I think it wants something." He said.

"_She _probably wants you to throw that ball she dropped at your feet." Sebastian said.

"But why?"

"Because that's what dogs do for fun. They run around and bark at pigeons and jump on new people." Seb said, walking over and tossing the ball for the dog. She was a medium to large dog, and there wasn't much room to throw the ball in the apartment, so before they could blink an eye she was back at their feet, with a slobbery orange ball waiting to be thrown again. When they failed to immediately pick up the ball and toss it again, she let out a shrill bark that left their ears ringing.

"Seb, make it stop! Why did we get this dog, anyways?" Jim whined, pulling his feet onto the chair so they wouldn't get any slobber from the ball on them.

"For the last time, the dog is a _she._ Her name is Macey, apparently. And we got her because she looked particularly vicious and can tear things completely apart in a matter of minutes." They both looked at Macey, who was practically _smiling_ at them as she panted. She barked again and they both cringed at the loud noise.

"Why don't we take her to dog park so she can run off her energy and stop barking?" Seb asked.

"Is that safe?" Jim asked. This dog was supposed to be an attack dog, after all.

"I'm sure it will be fine." Seb said with a side smile to himself. He had a feeling this dog wasn't as vicious as they had been told, but he wanted to find out for himself first.

* * *

When they arrived at the dog park Seb was relieved to see that it was unoccupied. That would give Macey some time to run around for a while without being distracted by other dogs. Although he did hope that some dogs would show up so that he could see how she acted with them.

They opened the gate and let Macey off the leash. She immediately took off running, exploring the large park, and sniffing at fence posts. Seb leaned against the fence and lit a cigarette as he watched her. Jim made a face (he had frequently expressed his distaste for the habit) but didn't say anything.

It didn't take long before Macey ran back to them with a half-deflated soccer ball. She dropped it at Jim's feet and backed away a few steps before sitting down lightly, poised to run off at full tilt as soon as the ball was kicked. Jim just looked confused. He didn't want to kick that gross deflated ball, he was wearing new sneakers!

"Oh, for god's sake." Seb muttered with a roll of his eyes. He stepped forward and gave that sad ball a solid kick, sending it flying halfway across the field with a _whump_ sort of sound. Macey took off after it at full tilt, but she overshot the ball a bit and had to make a quick U-turn to grab the ball on her way back to the men. Seb kicked the ball as soon as she was sitting again after dropping it at his feet, and a pattern was formed.

"She enjoys this?" Jim asked after a watching few repetitions of this. Seb shrugged.

"Yeah. She gets to run off her energy. She'll probably sleep all night long."

"Wouldn't she normally!" Jim asked, sounding a bit alarmed. He valued his sleep, and didn't want to be woken up by a dog at 3 in the morning. Seb just shrugged again.

"Some dogs don't sleep well for a while when they get a new home. They have to get used to it."

"You sure seem to know a lot about dogs."

"I've had dogs before. Apparently you haven't?"

"Not really a dog person." Jim said carefully.

"Then why did you agree to getting a dog?" Seb asked, putting out his cigarette butt.

"I don't know. I guess I thought our little operation could be enhanced with the presence of an attack dog." Jim muttered as he kicked at the ground. Apparently his earlier concern for his shoes had disappeared.

"Well that attack dog is currently rolling around in a mud puddle." Seb put his fingers to his lips and let out a shrill whistle, getting Macey's attention. As he called her over Jim heard a car pull up behind them. A young couple got out with their little terrier. He was interested to see what Macey would do.

Macey ran halfway to Seb before noticing the little terrier. She instantly stopped, her ears pricked up, and her head cocked to the side. As soon as that little dog was in the gate and off it's leash they both raced for each other. Seb greeted the new couple, but Jim kept his eyes fixed on the dogs. He didn't know what he was hoping for. Maybe she would step on the little dog? Or perhaps bite it? At least growl and raise her hackles, he hoped.

In reality, Macey barked and jumped with the little dog. They sniffed each other, walking in circles as they did. Both of their tails were whipping back and forth with excitement. They began to chase each other around the field. Macey could run much faster than she was, but she slowed down so the little dog could keep up.

"So much for attack dog." Seb muttered in Jim's ear. Jim just scowled at him and crossed his arms.

"Come on, let's go home."

Seb whistled again and both dogs came racing back towards them. They bid farewell to the couple and their terrier and left the park, Seb with an amused look on his face, Jim looking rather disgruntled.

* * *

Jim woke up with a start. He pushed himself up and eventually managed to focus enough to read the clock. It was 2:30am. He flumped back down the pillows with a groan. He didn't know what woke him up, but he wasn't happy about it. After a second he felt Seb's arm snake around his waist and pull Jim's back up against his chest. Jim cuddled into it and was almost asleep again when he heard it.

_BARK_

Jim's whole body stiffened.

"Seb…" he whined. Seb just growled into the back of Jim's neck and tightened his grip. Macey barked again. "Seb it's barking. Make it stop."

"Ignore her. She'll fall back asleep." He mumbled.

10 minutes later, Macey was still barking, and the frequency of barks had increased.

"Seb…" Jim whined again.

"Fine. Whatever." Seb grunted as he threw the covers off and climbed out of bed. For all that he didn't like to be awake at 2:30am, Jim did enjoy the view of his boyfriend dressed in just his boxers.

5 minutes later, Seb crawled back into bed. Jim had been dozing, but the movement woke him.

"All dealt with, then?" he muttered.

"Yeah. All dealt with." Seb said, kissing Jim before settling in for sleep again.

* * *

The next morning wasn't pretty. Eventually Jim dragged himself out of bed to find Seb in the kitchen, already pouring a cup of coffee for him. He grabbed the cup and gulped the hot coffee down, holding the empty mug out for Seb to refill. Once he had his second cup he began to feel more awake and like himself. He felt warm air on his thigh and started when he realized Macey was right next to him, looking up at him like she expected something.

"What does she want?" Jim asked.

"Probably a good morning pet." Seb said. Jim made a face and Seb narrowed his eyes. "Say good morning to Macey, Jim." His voice sounding a little menacing. Jim was so surprised by this assertiveness that he pet the dog's head immediately. Macey seemed to enjoy it.

"So what are we going to do with her, then?" Jim asked.

"What do you mean, 'do with her?'"

"Well, she's not an attack dog."

"And why should she be faulted for that? She's a perfectly nice dog, if a little exuberant at times. And besides, we don't really _need_ and attack dog, do we?" Seb asked with a raised eyebrow. Jim flushed a bit, partly because Seb was right, but also because he wasn't used to Seb being able to twist him around his finger.

"So we're just going to… keep her?"

"Wasn't that the plan anyways?" Seb asked with a small smile.

"Oh shut it, you." Jim said, standing on tip-toes to kiss Seb's stubbly cheek with a smile.

* * *

And that's the story of how Jim and Seb got a dog.

I'll be honest, this is the strangest thing I've ever written, because Macey is _my_ dog. This whole thing came from a conversation I had with a friend. I was describing my dog's antics to her, and she threw out the comment that it would be funny to see her with Jim and Seb. And then she demanded that I write a fic, so here this is.

-SarahRad


End file.
